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Santa’s Elves Think That He Is Too Fat.

Hey!

I know it’s Christmas night. You want to go to bed. And I do too. But I HAVE to tell you about this crazy little guy who showed up at my door tonight.

He wasn’t big. Maybe 4 feet tall.

He was wearing weird curly shoes.

And even weirder. He had pointy ears.

I asked him who he was.

He said he was a messenger from Santa!

Apparently, Santa isn’t as young as he used to be. He’s getting a little slower. And, let’s face it, he’s put on some pounds.

Millions of Christmas cookies in one night can do that to you.

Well, like a lot of us, he’s concerned about his weight. And he doesn’t want to drop dead one day while carrying presents to all the bad little boys and girls. Apparently, coal is very heavy.

So he wanted my advice.

Imagine that.

Well, I’m not one to leave Santa in the lurch. So this is what I told the Elven messenger.

1. Start eating more protein!

I told the little guy, building muscle is the key to permanent weight loss. And protein is the key to building muscle.

So, tell Santa that the elves should start bringing him more meat, beans and protein, and less white carbs like bread, etc.

2.  Quit eating the cookies and milk!

Yeah, yeah. I know. The temptation of a million (billion?) chocolate chip and sugar cookies is hard to resist.

But a second on the lips means a lifetime on the hips.

Push the plate away, Santa!! Your waistline will thank you for it.

3.  Start exercising more

Life is a marathon, not a sprint, Santa.

You have to exercise everyday. Or at least a few times a week.

The weekend warrior stuff of putting all of your exercise into only one day a year just ain’t gonna cut it.

So, join a gym. Get jogging. And maybe you won’t be huffing and puffing so much as you carry that big bag up the roof next year.

4.  Fast!!

Santa only works one day a year. Does he really need to eat so much? Once a month, he should try fasting.

It can increase his energy and decrease his waistline.

This can help.

5.  Start walking more!

The reindeer team is cool. I get it.

Especially with Rudolph lighting the way.

But if you have to run some errands around the North Pole, maybe trying running? Or at least walking?

Let’s face it. It’s time for Santa to get his blubber butt outside and walk through the snow. It’s great for his heart and body.

6.  Fire half the elves.

It’s time to face facts.

Most of those elves are dead weight.

And by trimming his workforce down, he’ll also trim his considerable stomach down, too, because he’ll be forced to roll up his sleeves and do some work for once.

7.  Try Hoodia.

So, that’s it.

This is what I laid out for Santa.

The guy with the pointy shoes looked at me a little funny. But maybe that is just the way he looks.

Hopefully, we’ll see the Brad Pitt version of Santa at Christmas in 2018.

Have a Merry Christmas.

And AMAZING holiday season.

I’ll see you soon! 🙂

Marc

Brought to you by

– Life Miracle